spring's a coming

The sun was low in the sky and it's bright light contrasted sharply agaisnt the storm clouds in the east. On our drive home from school, through the rolling hills and brown fields I relished in the beauty of the day. It was gorgeous; blue skies, a warm sun, a slight breeze, and the fresh, alive and wonderful scent of spring drawing nearer.

I do believe Spring's a coming!

~Mary Kate

Memories // Adventures of Disney World Part 5

|| Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 ||

It's now been over two months since we spent two wonderful weeks in sunny, warm Florida and I finally got around to editing the last of our Disney pictures. There are too many to share all the good ones with you. However, I can't help sharing a *few* of my favorites.

I've been working on a Disney video for awhile and eventually I'll finish it :) We were so blessed to be able to go back to Disney for two incredible weeks.

~Mary Kate

P.S. I'm leaving in a few hours for a wonderful weekend retreat with my amazing youth group, I'll come back with tons of photos and just maybe a little video.

and the sky was blue

// the sky was blue and the sun was setting // my new favorite piece of jewelry // pure joy on Joey's face, as he watches out the window as it snows //

~Mary Kate

Quiet Morning || Words {Installment 2}

Source: media.photobucket.com via Laura on Pinterest

The early morning sun bathed the quiet house in pools of warm light. The smell of coffee, freshly brewed, mingled with the scent of baking bread and clean dishes. The grandfather clock in the corner ticked softly, the only noise disturbing the peaceful silence.

            A door was shut softly somewhere on the upper lever and the pitter patter of footsteps echoed across the ceiling. Slowly, an elderly woman made her way down the stairs. She moved cautiously, careful not to lose her fragile balance on the creaking staircase.

            Once at the bottom, she shuffled to the kitchen where she poured herself some coffee and sat down gingerly at the table. Her hair, wispy and almost white, was caught up in a small bun. Her hands, wrinkled from age, shook slightly as she brought the steaming mug to her mouth. Hazel eyes glanced around the room from behind silver-framed glasses, her mind lost in deep thought.

            Setting the mug in front of her, she stood and walked slowly into the living room. Feeling suddenly nostalgic, a small tear trickled down her face as memories poured through her mind. Crying babies, laughing children, and excited feet running down the stairs; birthday parties, Christmas mornings, family game nights and late night couch snuggles when nightmares had awoken one of the children.

            Wandering into the family room, she reached the bookshelves. Her worn hands ran over the titles, pausing at old favorites. A smile touched her lips as she closed her eyes and let the memories wash over her. Reading to the babies while huddled under the covers of the king size bed.  Reading on the couch to the older ones. The books that were now faded with age; dusty and neglected.

            She crossed to the shelf which held the photo albums, filled to the brim with hundreds of pictures. Pictures which documented years long past. She selected one at random and gently flipped through the pages. Who was the baby in this particular album? She couldn’t remember. She glanced at the date on one of the pictures and sighed, almost fifty-eight years had passed since these pictures had been taken, no wonder her memory was failing her.

            Placing the album back on the shelf, she let her eyes travel to the fames on the right hand wall. There coated in dust, hung all eight baby pictures. A sad smile touched her lips as she tried to remember herself when her life was filled with babies and the constant needs of small children. And there, next to the baby pictures, hung her wedding picture. All these years later she loved that man a thousand times more than she had believed possible on her wedding day. Although he barely resembled the young man in the photo, her husband’s smile was the same, his twinkling eyes unchanged.

            She heard him enter the room and cross over to her and she smiled as he reached her side. He slipped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

            “Good morning love,” he whispered. “What are you doing so early?” She leaned into his arms and breathed in his wonderful, familiar scent.

            “I’m remembering. Late night bonfires, family movie nights, birthday chaos, popscicle wrappers and sticky babies. When did we get so old? How did the time slip by so fast?” She felt his arms squeeze her gently and heard him sigh,

            “If you could rewind time and go back to that life, would you?” he asked softly. She rested her head against his and thought about his question. Did she yearn to go back?

            “No.” she said thoughtfully, “no I don’t want to go back. It already all happened. Life moves forwards, not back. Besides, our family would feel incomplete without all the grandbabies, and great-grandbabies. Life is short and sweet. We can’t dwell on the past forever. Simple memories are all I need.”

            “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?” He asked as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead softly.She smiled as his whitened beard brushed agaisnt her nose. He wrapped his arms around her as she nestled her head on his shoulder; together they soaked in the quiet morning.

a few frames of delicious winter-ness

~Mary Kate

on growing up and learning to be childlike

Growing up is a strange thing. From the time I was little I associated growing up with freedom. Freedom from school, from parental authority, from all the rules of childhood. I used to journal about how badly I wished time would speed up and I would be 17 or 18 and be going to college, and meet "the one" and then a few years later I would get married and start a family of my own.

I associated growing up with being done with all childish things and most childlike things. While I grasped the concept of a "childlike" faith, I always thought that growing up eradicated all other childlike tendencies. 

In the past few months I've been realizing some things about growing up, and in the last couple weeks, I've been trying to figure out how to share with words, what I was starting to comprehend. At last I decided to just sit down and write everything I've been thinking about lately concerning this whole concept of "growing up".

Growing up doesn't mean freedom in the sense of getting away, and being free from childhood and parental rules. There are a lot of college students and young adults in their early twenties who are living on their own and away from parental guidance and are "free", but they haven't grown up at all. It's kind of ironic,actually, how desperate they are to cast away all ties to childhood, and yet how childish they act. Obviously this isn't the case for everyone but it is for some, and it's the case for enough people that it makes me wonder what really marks "growing up."

Growing up means you learn how take the beauty and the pain together. You learn how to be prudent, and make wise decisions. It means you put aside childish behaviors and childish wants and you recognize your responsibilities for yourself and others.

Growing up is two-sided. Yes you have to live in "reality", but growing up doesn't mean you forget everything you knew as a child. A child is so full of innocense and beauty. A child recognizes truth and goodness. A child will look at the world with an entirely different pair of eyes than an adult. A child will look out at a fresh new snowfall and be excited, excited for the fun and beauty and all the adventures the snow holds. A child won't grumble about having to clear the drive way, or scrape the car, or drive to work or pump the gas in the frigid air. They won't think about all the extra work it will take their parents to get them ready to go out, and then help them get everything off when they come in.

People smile at childhood innocence and sweetness. But as a child grows older, society starts to tell her that she is being childish, that she needs to face reality sooner or later. Oh sure, it's all fun and games for kids, while their kids, but the world tells them that to grow up, they need to leave all these silly fantasies behind.

Children are not run down by the mundane things of life. They see good, and joy and happiness in everything. They see the best potential in things. They don't worry about things. It's true, children don't have to deal with everything that adults have to deal with. Children don't have the responsibilities of life that adults do. Children, for the most part, can be shielded from pain that adults have to live with.  Children don't have to make huge important, stressful decisions about their life. But that's just it. That's what growing up is. It's learning to hold on to the things a child knows, while learning to deal with things an adult has to deal with it. It's a balance between remembering how to be childlike, in everything, while dealing with things life throws in our faces.

 "What good is an offering to an idol

that can neither taste nor smell?

So it is with afflicted man 

who groans at the good things his eyes behold. 

Do not give in to sadness, 

torment not yourself with brooding;

Gladness of heart is the very life of man, 

cheerfulness prolongs his days. 

Distract yourself, renew your courage, 

drive resentmet far away from you;

For worry has brought death to many, 

nor is there aught to be gained from resentment. 

Envy and anger shorten one's life, 

worry brings on premature old age."

                                        --Sirach 31:19-24

Source: inspiredjoyfulchaos.tumblr.com via Nela on Pinterest

And so as I begin this adventure known as growing up, I will try to place my trust entirely in God and remember to stop and appreciate life, and to truly live each day.

I am learning how to be childlike.

To trust.

To be joyful.

To see the best in everything and everyone.

To recognize the truth and beauty in the world.

And to love.

-mary kate

To Wake || Words {Installment 1}

 It had all been such a wonderful dream. It always was. The laughter, the love, the people, the sense of belonging. It had been one of those dreams that you never want to wake from. Especially, if those wonderful parts can't be found in reality. To wake, that means to let go. To let go, that means facing the harsh realization that it was just a dream.

And yet...it had been so real. So real. All five sense, alive and active. The smells, sounds, sights. To wake from it, meant facing the pain that would follow. For the first time in months she had felt truly happy. Her heart was full. All the longing, the agony, the regrets, they were gone. The only thing she had ever wanted was right there. A loving, whole, healthy, and complete family. Her family. It had been a glimpse into what her life would have been like - had circumstances been in her favor. And now? To wake to the dreary house, the empty rooms collecting dust. The  lonely frames with the price tags she had never bothered to remove. The beautiful crib, with it's soft pink blanket, and the delicate rose patterned quilt. Destined never to be used. All an empty dream. 

Maybe she could bear the pain if she wasn't alone. But death had been victorious again and taken him too. The one person she could always count on. The first and last person who had ever loved her. Her one source of constant support and peace. He had been her steady hand when everything first went wrong. He had always guided her to place her trust in God, but that had been easier before he was gone. She had clung to her husband and God when the babies had died, one after another. She had felt His hand holding them up, not letting them fall. But now? Now He had taken away her husband too? It was too much. Way too much. She was drowning in a sea of grief and despair. 

For the shortest of times, she had held them in her arms, she had kissed their cheeks and hugged them tight, never wanting to let go. They were all there. Together. And they were happy. Truly happy. She had watched him be an amazing dad; snuggling with the girls, wrestling with the boys. And for the briefest moments, she had been a part of that too. And she never wanted it to end. 

But this was not the first time she had dreamed this dream. Somewhere in her subconciousness, she knew it was nothing but a dream, she knew it was all going to end and she was going to have to wake. 

To wake from such a dream is nothing short of torture. To wake from such a dream is nature's cruelest affliction. To wake. To wake and return to the present, to wake and be forced back to reality. It's dangerous and painfully, strangely, wonderful all at the same time. 

To wake.

|| I've decided to start sharing snippets that I write every now and then. They never tend to go anywhere, just a few paragraphs, sometimes even just a few sentences. Letters strung together to form words, words crafted into place to form an idea, to set a scene, to create a mood. This one happens to be a bit darker than my normal taste, but for some reason I like it, despite it's more sadder tone. ||

cookie dough, sticky fingers, and a plethora of baked goodness

Two days before Christmas I went a little overboard and spent about fourteen straight hours Christmas baking. Haha, it was a little bit much, but so much fun and the results were delicious! :)

~Mary Kate